I just had to share this...
This time of the year has come around once again. Close To My Heart is releasing the New Idea Book and Catalog. Please be extremely cautious of Close To My Heart Consultants (CTMHCs) for the next two weeks.
How to Deliver the New Idea Book and Catalog:
1. Be sure you have fixed your squeaky brakes - if not, park your truck two blocks away so the CTMHC can not hear you coming.
2. Put in your earplugs and secure your safety glasses.
3. If you see children looking out the window, put your finger up to your lips and say "SHHHH".. They are on a "lookout" for you and are being paid to "alert" their mothers (CTMHCs) when they see you coming to the door.
4. Approach the front door and very quietly, set the package down in front of the door (Make sure you place it in FRONT so when she opens the door, the box will be in the way and give you a little more time to escape).
5. Back up as far as you can and reach for the doorbell, (BE READY TO RUN !!!). Ring the doorbell and make a mad dash back to your truck and drive away....DO NOT LOOK BACK !!!
The UPS corporation is informing you of this because in the past years, CTMHCs have been known to scream at the top of their lungs with excitement and try to tackle you with hugs for delivering their catalogs. After you have been smothered with appreciation for getting them their catalogs on time, watch out for flying packaging material as they will open up the box before you have had a chance to leave, or they have gone inside.
They have also been know to drive up next to you at a stop light in their mini vans and SUVs and ask if you have a package for them. Turn up your radio and pretend you cannot hear them. Do not let them approach your delivery truck at an intersection.
CTMHCs have been know to stop traffic and throw all your packages off the trucks until they find their new Idea Book and catalog.
Best of luck to you with this mission, and remember: Let's Be Safe Out There!!!!!